Today would have been my Mom’s 58th birthday. She passed away 13 months ago. The one year anniversary of her death was a very hard day. I choose to spend that day with my Grandma and went to the cemetery and prepared to see the headstone for the first time later that week. Tears were shed because I wish that day had never happened…that it would have taken place 20 years in the future instead of a year ago.
After much reflection, I have decided I will not be going to the cemetary today. It just doesn’t feel right today…today is a celebration of her life and not a day to mourn that she isn’t here to celebrate it. She was such a warm-hearted person….there weren’t many people like my mom. She had the biggest heart and cared about everyone! She was such a gentle spirit…and that is what I will remember today.
Instead I have decided to I will be decorating our house for Christmas today! My mom loved my Christmas trees and love the thought of everyone getting together for the holidays! What a better way to picture her smiling then to get my house ready for the season. I also think I am going to try a new recipe for dinner tonight, she always laughed at my kitchen antics…so hopefully she will help me whip up something tasty!
Happy Birthday Mom….I know your spirit and soul surrounds me when I need it most. I hope that never changes. I see the signs…and I’m so thankful for them. Every single ladybug you send me, the random cat that visited us that day at the cemetery and rubbed on your marker and looked at me with big round eyes, and the dreams of when you visit me, all remind me that you are still around. I love you and I miss you. Happy Birthday Mama!