Let’s kinda say I fell off the “stay within your calories wagon” yesterday. Yeah didn’t just do it with one meal, I did it with all three. Guess I jumped off the wagon is a better way to say it.
I feel like crap. My belly feels like it’s got rocks in it. I want to vomit.
Here’s how the downfall happened.
Breakfast: strawberry breakfast fruit bar.
dumbass part:second fruit bar and a diet Pepsi
Lunch:5 boneless chicken wings with Asian zing sauce
dumbass part: french fries and ranch
I felt horrible at work the rest of the afternoon and didn’t even know if I was gonna be able to eat any dinner, and was probably going to opt for cereal. Then once I got home and started cleaning a little, I started getting hungry again and wanted a burger. So I clean for a few hours in an attempt to avoid going and getting something for dinner, because I was already over 1300 calories. But what do I end up doing around 7:30?
Dinner: Steak & Shake Triple cheeseburger
dumbass part: more flippin’ french fries and added a slice of cheese at home and not just 1 but 2 cans of full blown Mountain Dew
Yeah so all together I had almost 3000 calories…WTF!!! No wonder I feel like vomiting, that almost what I normally consume in 2.5 days! I felt bad after lunch but it went away by the time I had dinner. Didn’t feel guilty as I was eating a triple cheeseburger (steak & shake has thin burgers, but come-on a triple!) How can this still be happening to me after how far I have come on my weight loss journey? Am I really that weak to not be able to say no and have eaten something lite for dinner? Yes I am, and I’m not afraid (well kinda afraid) to admit it.
The thing that irks me the most is that I was by myself last night. Hubby was out with a friend, so I did all of this self-sabotage eating sitting in front of the TV watching the Lake House with Miss Emma. No party or special occasion or football game to blame it on this time…just me being a dumbass and not really thinking about how many calories I was shoving into my pie hole. Especially when I was eating it, not until the belly ache came on did I start to feel bad.
Today’s a new day and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stay off the wagon for a whole weekend. But there’s nothing good about feeling like a dumbass and regretting what you did yesterday that cancelled out a week of eating right and exercising. Yeah good job Mendie…what a way to start the weekend. Dumbass.